Saturday, April 7, 2018

Community: The Missing Link

Every successful individual knows that 
his or her achievement depends on a community of people working together."
- Paul Ryan

Man, I can't even begin to tell you how many people have encouraged, helped, and prayed for me throughout my journey. Life was never meant to be lived independently of others and you were never meant to pursue goals on your own. Trust me! I know sometimes it feels like the world is against you and no one will or wants to help you, but the truth is we all want the same thing (love and connection) and we're here on earth to build community with others.

Something I love about being a part of a community is the freedom to be my raw, unfiltered self without the fear of being judged. I have several people in my life who know me inside out. They know my strengths, weaknesses, struggles, insecurities, and EVERYTHING else! I let them in when I make mistakes as well as when I'm on top of the mountain. I use to be afraid of this kind of intimacy because it made me feel vulnerable and weak (which I hate to be honest), BUT what I've learned is that exposing myself to trusted people that I know will keep everything confidential, helps me sort through my thoughts a little better and allows me to let my guard down and just be myself without any consequences.

If you don't connect with at least one person on this level, fam jam! You're missing out!


"Community is an opportunity to create a family outside of the one we were born into. You get to build real connections and deep friendships with people that were once considered strangers."
- Tee Forever



Allow me to pause right here and say that the kind of community I'm referring to includes more than just your girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife, or the 3 people you still talk to from your hometown. No, they're apart of it, but it expands to people like the money smart person that lives down the street. You've talked to them a few times and you know that their good with money, but you've never opened up and asked for tips on how to manage your money better. Why not? What if it turns out that they're actually a millionaire and would love to give you some feedback on what you could be doing better. They might even refer you to a really good accountant that could help you save some mula during tax season! Ever thought about that?

Instead, since you thought it would be awkward to initiate a relationship with them you'll never reap the benefits that connection would've brought. To all of my stressed out parents, have you ever considered talking to that other parent you always see at the park with the 4 kids? They seem to have a good grip on things. Their kids are happy and well taken care of. You could "sniff them out", see if their trust worthy and if so, you could begin to talk to them about the stress or pressure you feel from parenting and find out what strategies they use to keep everything together while taking care of themselves. All of these small connections play a big role in enhancing the quality of your overall life.

Now, when you start building your community don't just chose Sally or Bob because they seem nice. Choose people that are wiser than you and have strengths or success in areas you want to develop. People that don't talk about others and have a reputation or history of keeping things confidential. Lol, the last thing I want you to do is start building your squad with people that aren't mature enough to handle your realness! Not everyone is meant to be in your inner-circle so don't give everyone access.




Another thing I'm quite fond of in community is the fact that I'm able to have authentic transparent and honest communication. This is BIG for me because our society is full of small talk and typical responses. Here's an example: When someone ask, "How are you today?" or "How's your day going?" you respond with ... (I'll give you a second to think about it) ..."I'm doing well, how are you?" or something along those lines, right? BUT THAT'S NOT ALWAYS TRUE! What about those days when you just want to hide in a corner and cry because you're so stressed out or overwhelmed!? Or what about when you're so mad that you want to cuss every and anybody that looks at you the wrong way. We don't always share that with people. Most of us bottle it up inside and then explode on the wrong person OR overtime become angry, withdrawn, emotionless, etc. Having a community or inner-circle of down to earth, trusted, regular people will help you work through your emotions and process life in a healthy way.

With a handful of people, I'm able to share exactly what's on my heart whether it aligns with my faith or not, whether it's good news or bad news, no matter what I'm going through, no matter how much I'm struggling these people provide a safe place for me to share my heart in an open and defenseless way.

"Taking the time to build community,
to get to know people will have long-lasting benefits."
- Clifton Taulbert

Connection and community is not only good for your soul, it benefits everyone that gets to experience it. Find and create your inner-circle. Sharpen and inspire each other and love them until the wheels fall off!

PS: Guess who caught a cold! Stuffy nose and everything! If any of you want to start adapting this principle here's your perfect opportunity! Feel free to bring some spicy Jamaican chicken noodle soup to my house :) ha-ha I'm kidding! I love you guys!


Until next time,
Xoxo!


Theresa Forever



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16 comments

  1. I always say "You're only as good as the company you keep." I'm a firm believer in creating relationships with people & making connections! Also: 'Not everyone is meant to be in your inner-circle' is SO true. I've had my fair share of people that didn't invest in me as much as I would invest in them.

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  2. I hope you get better, talking to the right people is a big issue. I think we are in times where people think they know it all, they can handle anything. I used to and I’m still not that good in expressing myself to others. I feel like I’m bothering them so I listen to what’s going on around me and learn.

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  3. It is very important to surround yourself with the right people. Great people, good relationships shape us and let us grow. The older I get the more particular I am with the people around me.

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  4. This is so very true! My husband has a friend that does exactly that! he choses us as godparents, so he could leave his kid with me 3 times a week for free, he thought I was going to be his nanny, he made best friend with a guy at the port and now he gets free sails every sunday cause his kid so cute. He also made friends with a retiring couple and now he took their apartment and paying nothing... he never gives anything back though... In this world there are people who take from the community and never give back, and people who give and never receive. The world is like this since the beginning.

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  5. Theresa, I love what you have shared about community, and agree with it all - especially the part about choosing people who are wiser and more mature to be in community with you. It takes a village for us to all grow together and I love that others are there to guide me on my path too. You are brilliant. πŸ’—πŸ™πŸΌπŸ˜˜ πŸ’•Xo, Evelyn, PathofPresence.com πŸ¦‹

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  6. Life without human interactions is lonely, I feel like that sometimes. I love the idea of having a strong community around me. My nieghbors all keep to themselves, new people move in, we never even see them. I am thankful for my family - who have supported me no matter what and I can tell them e verything but more friends woul dbe really nice.

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  7. I absolutely love your thoughts on building community.... It takes a village to guide us along our paths! Daisy

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  8. Thanks for reminding me to start building my own community. I guess it is the best place to get support, advises and sharing tips and interest.

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  9. I think that these days it's kind of hard to create a trusty community around your life because people don't really honestly talk to each other anymore. As you said, we pass by someone we know and we ask how are you, knowing that the reply will be "good, thank you".

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  10. What a great post and reminder to start building my own community. I remember in the past there were joint families or relatives used to live near each other in the same locality to have someone around to talk and share thoughts but with time and circumstances, it has all changed.

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  11. I would have to agree with you on this. I was never good with making friends but I started to open up and give it a chance with the help of my husband. I think community is important for a person's growth.

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  12. It is is so important to be a part of a helpful and supportive community especially when you are going through a tough time. I am lucky to have a wonderful set of neighbours, too

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  13. I love the idea of building a community of people you trust and will support you, it makes for a lovely happy life!

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  14. I definitely agree with you on this. I think having a community is important. It's just that it can be so hard to find trust worthy people. Great post. Something to really think about.

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  15. Building a community and surrounding yourself with supporting people is essential to life. I just find it hard to find genuine people that will not see something to gain in you.

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  16. trust is the most important part of relationship no matter what kind of it is. Whe you know person long enough you feel this person even without words but patience is needed to achieve that.
    P.S. get better soon!

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