Over on the gram, I recently confessed that I was riding the struggle bus of procrastination trying to avoid actually working on my BIGGEST goal for this year because it scares me. To be completely honest I even found myself trying to justify this procrastination telling myself things like…“you know, you’ve already done so much. If you don’t crush this goal this year you can always tackle it next year” and while that may be true I made a commitment at the beginning of this year to follow my path and not settle for anything less so now that the time has come I know this is an opportunity for me to stay in integrity with this commitment (and let the church say amen!)
As I opened up and shared about this struggle with you many started reaching out offering support, advice, and even sharing their own personal stories of struggle and victory. Some even started asking for help! So instead of only sharing the insights and lessons I was learning with the people who asked I opened up a Q&A poll on the gram and invited all of you to ask me anything about motivation, mindset, focus, and pretty much anything you wanted!
After going through all of the question I complied a list of the ones you asked the most and now you can hit play to dive in and hear m responses (or keep reading)!
All Motivation Has Stopped
What can I do to rekindle the fire?
As the questions came rolling in many of you were saying things like “I’m losing my motivation again and I procrastinate my work all the time” or “I am guilty of the same thing. How can I boost my motivation and actually get things done?” and essentially at the core of what you were saying was how can I stay motivated? So instead of offering tips and tricks for how you can hack your way to feeling more motivated I want to give you something that will sustain you!
What Is Motivation & How Does It Work?
We talked about this in Ask Tee Anything: Help with Motivation, Mindset, & More (part 1) so I won’t dive into it too much here but pretty much when you think about how you define motivation you’ll find yourself in 1 of 2 popular trains of thought. The first one says motivation is not necessary to achieve your goals, it’s something that comes and goes, but when you make a decision you have to follow through to the end regardless of if you feel motivated or not.
While the other train of thought says motivation is good and necessary to keep you in the game for the long haul. If you want to be successful learning how to maintain your motivation is required for you to meet long-term targets/goals.
Now, it doesn’t matter which train of thought you subscribe to because the truth is motivation is a healthy, natural part of life. Contrary to popular belief motivation is not an emotion although it is connected to our feelings. It is a mix of desire and our brain (proven by neuroscience) working together to create decisions and behaviors that align with the outcomes we want.
So we don’t turn motivation on or off we simply allow it to flow. We can increase it which is what happens when we deeply desire something or someone. And we can decrease it whenever we allow ourselves to get distracted. So now to answer the big question is…
How Do I Stay Motivated?
The easiest way to maintain and deepen your motivation is to keep your eyes on the prize! When you know exactly what you want everything else grows dim in light of that desire/goal. So I gotta ask! What is your prize? Most of the time the goals we set are a reflection of a deeper desire that we aspire to experience, create, become, and so on. When we keep our eyes on the goal, milestone, or daily commitment that gets us across the finish line we don’t feel inspired or motivated, but when we set our eyes on the prize, the bigger picture behind why we’re doing all that we do it’s easy to find the strength to write one more chapter, record one more song, post one more IG reel, etc.
What Motivates Me
My deepest motivation is knowing that at the end of my life I will give an account to God for the way that I used my time, resources, and ultimately the way I chose to live my life. The fear of not living authentically and 100% aligned with my purpose scares me more than the fear of success and everything else. This helps me to stay sober and make decisions that help me to write the kind of story I want about my life instead of living into other people expectations of me and falling down distracting rabbit holes.
Know Your Why
This is why you’ll often hear people like Tony Robbins or John Maxwell talk about the importance of you finding your why. Why did you get started on this journey? What is the bigger picture for why you’ve created and are pursuing this goal? Who are you doing this for? What’s the point of all the late nights and early mornings? What is your underlying, compelling, relentless, WHY!?
Understand Your Values
When we talk about values it can seem like an intangible or hard to identify concept, but to keep things simple as your values are basically the things that are the most important to you. So if you say “the reason I want to start a business and help people through your Youtube channel is because you want to create passive income so you can spend more time with your kids” then one of your top values is family/your kids.
If you want to start a movement that brings more peace and unity into the world by educating elementary kids about racism and injustice because you want to see the fulfillment of Martin Luther King Jr’s dream and create a safe space for all nations to reside then it’s clear one of your values is world peace. You see how simple this is?
So get clear on what actually motivates you and then keep your eye on the prize. Journal about it, think about it, put it on a vision board, talk about it with visionary people you trust that will support and encourage you. People that can potentially mentor you, challenge and pour into you, and steer you down the best path to get this done! Then you’ll be look up 6 months from now and be surprised to see the amount of progress you’ve made in a short amount of time.
Tee, Any Tips For How I Can Actually Follow-through
and do things I know I need to do but don’t enjoy doing?
I love this question because I wrestled with procrastination for years (and when I say procrastination I mean straight up avoidance)! I would do everything except the one thing I knew needed to get done especially when I thought it required too much work! Now I procrastinate out of fear or familiarity (because it feels safe, etc), but I notice it a lot sooner and work through it faster.
I used to avoid doing all the things I didn’t enjoy like working, saving money, exercising, eating healthy, and so on and only focus on doing things that I loved like praying for hours, spending time with friends, reading books, watching Youtube, staying up late binge watching episodes of 90-day Finance and even though I had very basic goals back then I wasn’t doing ANYTHING to actually achieve them.
Truthfully, looking back now I know in my heart I was being lazy. I wanted the result without putting in the effort and we both know, that’s not how life works. We don’t achieve our goals because we simply write them down or pin them on a vision board. We achieve them because we commit to the process and create them. It’s not about doing a bunch of stuff and burning ourselves out to try to be successful. It’s about developing our character and growing into who we’re meant to be while uncovering our true purpose.
This Is Why Goal-Setting Is Necessary
It’s bigger than just doing something new or challenging yourself to grow. This is about becoming who you’re meant to be. Learning new things and applying it to your life. Stepping out of what’s familiar and aligning your life and vision with what God see’s for you and has planned before you were even born! Goal-setting is about experiencing your purpose and setting yourself free to do things you’ve only dreamed of!
Now here’s a question for you. Who said you have to enjoy everything you do? Where did this idea that life has to be one big party and everything you do has to feel good even come from?
Is that you don’t enjoy it or do you just need some time to get use to it? Because there are some things in life that are not enjoyable when you first get started…like waking up at 5 am everyday or getting into a consistent work out routine but once you have the discipline locked in you begin to see the benefits of it and fall in love with the process.
A wise man said, “No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.” Teaching yourself to be disciplined and to do the things you don’t want to do when they need to get done might be one of the hardest things you get to do in this life. And the rewards of this practice run deeper than any material result you can attain because it changes the fabric of your being. It causes you to mature and that’s what we’re all here to do.
Listen To The Full Episode
How can I master my mindset?
This Q&A is full of so many nuggets. I answer questions about how to manage your mindset, the role that neuroscience plays in helping you achieve your goals and more! You have to hit play to draw out all the gems! Until next week, stay connected on the gram and share your thoughts about what you got out of this weeks episode. Love you and I mean it!